I am fairly certain the first thing you will see when you visit my Instagram feed is color.  I do love color and have always had a fascination with the theory of how color affects our mood, our emotions, and even how our body reacts.  Color can truly move us.  

When I was first married and our son was small, the house was so full of color and it felt so happy.  Then we had an opportunity to completely remodel our house, right down to the studs - best part, it was all paid for by the insurance (courtesy of a ridiculously powerful tornado - I know! I swear, I am a living testament that bad things happen to good people, but so do a LOT of amazingly good things too). This time around I chose to go in a completely different direction.  I needed to feel calm.  I needed to feel a bit of serenity in my life.  I went with beautiful shades of cream, teak floors and warm woods, with a bit of blues and greens here and there, but not very much of it!

It was exactly what I needed.  It felt like a calm would completely wash over me when I came home.  I could sit and look out at the beautiful pasture behind our house and feel complete peace.  As I replaced things in the house (almost everything was gone, seriously), I was extremely selective about what I put back.  I wanted uncluttered calmness.  I needed uncluttered calmness! 

This was before I began painting  - we finished the house and moved back home almost exactly two years before my cancer.  That clam serenity brought me tremendous peace during that time in my life.  As I began to paint - my paintings were so full of color.   Looking at them made me feel so happy, but for some reason I just couldn't put them up in my house (I know, is that weird? I think that's weird). I chose to paint what brought me joy, colorful images of what I saw that I loved.  Sweet places and memories.  I was afraid to have those in my house, I felt like I was still in limbo.  (I must also share that I didn't have photos in my house either - it wasn't just my art.)  I honestly think I was afraid to plan or look to far ahead.  I didn't want to see the things I could potentially miss or not be a part of.  

Yet as I continued to paint, I continued to heal.  I saw joy and light in them.  I decided I wanted to face the light - to choose happiness over darkness and fear.  I decided it was time to let color be present in my life and my home.  Now I still need to feel that uncluttered calmness and one day I hope to be able to paint that part of my heart.  But for now my heart wants color!